By sheer coincidence, I’m exploring the 1920’s in both my modern European History and my United States History classes. While I am tempted to use this space to bring to life a Venn Diagram illustrating the similarities and differences between the European and American experiences in the post-WWI era, and yet more tempted to draw parallels between the 1920’s and the 2020’s, with Presidents’ Day tomorrow, I want to sit this Sunday morning to share a few thoughts on the American presidency.
So I’m teaching this U.S. History class and, as happens every year, grappling with presidents Harding, Coolidge, and Hoover, all of whom are, shall we say, substandard. This is hardly a matter of opinion. The consensus among historians has long been that all three are in the bottom third of one presidential ranking poll after another. This is not to say that they are war criminals or otherwise horrible people. To the contrary, all kept the nation out of foreign entanglements (perhaps to a fault) and were men of varying degrees of competence.
Warren Harding was an incompetent president. Harding candidly conceded to the esteemed Nicholas Butler Murray, whose recollections I trust, that, “I am not fit for this office and should never have been here.” Thus, if nothing else, we can say of Harding that he was self-actualized and humble, hardly a trait of certain American presidents. In modern parlance, Harding “stumbled up” and he knew it.
He also knew that, he knocked up his paramour Nan Britton while schtupping her on the couch of his Senate office. Fact. Later he would schtup her in the closet of the Oval Office. We’ve known of the affair and his love letters for years. It wasn’t until a few years ago that we had DNA evidence to confirm that he was providing child support (read: hush money) payments appropriately. It might well be true that the Harding’s only lasting achievements in office were with Ms. Britton. His greatest legacy might be his salacious letters to Ms. Britton which are shockingly forward even 100 years later. The highlights of those letters feature the star of the show: Jerry. Jerry? Yeah, Jerry.
Jerry is the name that Warren Harding gave his tallywacker. Jerry was something of a crotch rocket, profoundly motivated, with a mind of his own. We know this because as Harding writes to yet another mistress, Carrie Fulton Phillips*:
“Jerry came and will not go, says he loves you, that you are the only, only love worthwhile in all this world, and I must tell you so and a score or more of other fond things he suggests, but I spare you. You must not be annoyed. He is so utterly devoted that he only exists to give you all.”
Jerry just couldn’t resist Ms. Phillips, or her lady part, which he called “Mrs. Pouterson”.
You might rightly assume at this point that I’m writing about this here because I just can’t talk about this stuff in class. I mean, I can. But I should show more restraint than President Harding (and Jerry).
Other than these letters, Harding’s greatest gift to America was dying in office. And so it was that in August of 1923, America was saddled with “Silent Cal” Coolidge.
“I think the American public wants a solemn ass as a president,” Coolidge said, “and I think I’ll go along with them.” And so he did.
The John Stewart or Mark Twain of his day, Walter Lippmann, who I’ve discussed twice in these pages, said about Coolidge in 1926, “Mr. Coolidge’s genius for inactivity is developed to a very high point. It is a grim, determined, alert inactivity, which keeps Mr. Coolidge occupied constantly.”
In the 1930’s, H.L. Mencken once speculated how Coolidge might’ve responded to the collapse of the stock market and the global economy hypothesizing that, “he would have responded to bad times precisely as he responded to good ones – that is, by pulling down the blinds, stretching his legs upon his desk, and snoozing away the lazy afternoons.”
When the great poet and satirist Dorothy Parker was told that Coolidge had died, she reportedly said, “how could they tell?”
Coolidge would have appreciated the clever jabs. For despite being a good-for-nothing president and basically begging the stock market to crash, he had a brilliantly dry sense of humor.
A woman sitting beside Coolidge at a dinner party told him she’d made a bet that she could coax him to say more than two words.
“You lose,” he replied.
While he might’ve had a first-rate wit, Coolidge was a second rate-man and third-rate president. Herbert Hoover was a first-rate man. He lived the rags to riches story that Americans celebrate. Born poor in Iowa, nearly killed by croup, orphaned at age 10, sent off to live with family in Oregon, our man Hoover, despite failing every single entrance exam except math, became a member of the inaugural class at Stanford University. He was a poor student but graduated just in time for the country’s worst economic panic in its history to that time. But he fumbled through a career in mining in the Sierra Nevada mountains before thriving in mining in Australia and China. Through the dint of hard work and determination, he had made a name for himself and began a lucrative career as a consultant in London. When WWI hit, Woodrow Wilson called on Hoover to lead the English relief effort. His work was exemplary and when the U.S. entered the war, Hoover was handpicked to head the U.S. Food Administration. Helluva story.
After serving as Commerce Secretary under Harding and Coolidge, Hoover assumed the presidency in March of 1929. There was little he could do to stop the market crash. But as FDR later illustrated, there was much he could have done to protect Americans from the most painful effects of the Great Depression. Alas, he lacked the imagination, the vision, and the intellectual flexibility. Hoover, who had succeeded so magnificently otherwise, had failed miserably when his country needed him most. The voters agreed.
So in the 1920’s, Americans had three Republican presidents, each better than the last, all of them substandard. Failures, if judged by the degree to which they filled the potential of the power vested in the office. I’m explaining this in class and a student asked if I thought that the American people got what they deserved with these three. After the Progressive Era and WWI, Americans wanted laissez faire, do-nothing executives. And, after all, she said, they voted for these fellas.
While I’m willing to entertain the proposition that citizens living in a liberal democracy get what they deserve in their elected officials, I summarily reject the proposition. I might add that I don’t think Russians deserve Putin, nor do the Chinese deserve Xi Jinping, nor do Israelis deserve Netanyahu, nor do Gazans deserve Yahya Sinwar. All people deserve better leaders.
However, in the context of liberal democracies, I do think that elected officials are manifestations of and contributors to the zeitgeist in their countries. Lincoln’s throbbing internal divisions as the nation was divided in the throes of the Civil War. Teddy Roosevelt’s brash spirit in the Progressive Era. FDR’s shining optimism and tenaciousness despite all his suffering amidst the suffering of the Depression and WWII. Kennedy’s youthful, vibrant spirit as America was redefining itself, seeking New Frontiers. Nixon’s crooked, amorality as the sixties gagged on its last breaths. And yes, Harding, Coolidge, and Hoover manifested the self-imposed blinders in the “eat, drink, and be merry” days (daze?) of the Roaring 20’s.
There’s a congruence of sorts between the people and their elected leaders. Trump manifests many of the menacing dimensions in the fat underbelly of American life. He is old and fat and filthy. He’s a corrupt, megalomaniacal bully. One could say the same of America.
Joe Biden is old and tired and confused. The Hur Report released this week–which I realize is a politically-motivated document–concludes that Biden is, "a well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory." I agree and would say the same of America.
To combat Hur’s report, Biden took to the bully pulpit to push back hard, only to conclude by confusing the president of Mexico with the president of Egypt (this week he also confused Angela Merkel with Helmut Kohl). The whole point of his press conference was to assure Americans that he is mentally acute. He couldn’t even pretend to be sharp for 15 minutes. Like America, Biden is old and tired and has lost his way.
The Republican party is likely to be saddled with Trump. But the Dems need not be saddled with Biden.
I posited in my 2024 New Years predictions** that the Dems will pave an off ramp for Biden, writing:
Soon after Super Tuesday, the Tangerine Palpatine will effectively secure the Republican nomination–again revealing not just the rot at the core of the Republican party, but the rot in the soul of middle America–Dems will hatch their master plan to pave a smooth off-ramp for Biden. Plagued, in order from most to least problematic, by: declining faculties, poll numbers, immigration policy failures, and family scandal, Amtrak Joe will ride the rails into retirement. In an unprecedentedly rushed but surprisingly orderly primary, Dems will nominate Gretchen Whitmer or Amy Klobuchar, either of whom will select Polis or Buttegieg as VP. My prediction: Whitmer-Polis by 8% in November. You heard it here first.***
Inadvertently, Biden is paving it himself.
In the New York Times (and in his podcast) this week, Ezra Klein exclaimed:
I want to say this clearly: I like Biden. I think he’s been a good president. I think he is a good president. I don’t like having this conversation…
But to say this is a media invention, that people are worried about Biden’s age because the media keeps telling them to be worried about Biden’s age? If you have really convinced yourself of that, in your heart of hearts, I almost don’t know what to tell you.
I like Biden too and I don’t know what to tell you either. But I will tell you that when journalistic darlings of the Dems like Ezra Klein pivot against the sitting Democratic president, we can see the path being paved wider.
Listen. Americans deserved better than Harding, Coolidge, and Hoover. They deserve better than Trump and Biden.
Take a bow, Joe. Your work is done here.
Happy Presidents’ Day!
-DL
* Phillips was paid off by the Republican National Committee $20,000-25,000 (more than $300,000 today) as hush money so that President Harding could govern without being brought down by this scandal, since he was plagued by a dozen others.
** I also predicted that Taylor Swift would be taken down a peg. It’s gonna happen…
***I might add that I would love to see Cory Booker as VP over Polis or Buttegieg.