Sensitive, Not Resilient?

I'm a Tulip

On Monday I listened to an interview with Dr. Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology who researches generational differences and is perhaps best known for her book, iGen. 

I was drawn to this discussion because I am allergic to generalizations about generations. I don’t think generational divides are clear nor do I think that the characteristics attributed to generations are anything more than stereotypes. By my reckoning, generalizations about generations seek to tidy up a heaping mess of human affairs. Not one to tidy, I prefer to revel in the mess of humanity.

A respected expert in this field, I kinda hoped Twenge might alleviate my allergy. Alas, she aggravated it. 

But to the degree to which there is a kernel of utility in these generational generalizations, I found myself interested in a particular moment in the interview. One of my favorite podcast hosts, Mike Pesca, and Dr. Twenge were discussing Gen Z (loosely speaking, those born since 1997). I teach Gen Z. They are the most kind, sensitive, empathic, and open-minded generation in human history. Haters be damned, I’m an unrepentant Gen Z fanboy. You should be too. 

While I deem the academic dialogue about generations to be largely twaddle–and the non-academic chatter about generations to reek of “kids these days” balderdash*–the host and his guest agreed that Gen Z is “sensitive, but not resilient”. 

Sensitive, but not resilient. 

Stop reading now! Gut check. Do you support or refute the claim that Gen Z is sensitive but not resilient?

Did you vote? If so, read on…

Ok. So I’ve heard this thesis many times over and confess that my gut instinct has been that there is at least a kernel of truth to the charge. But is there?

This week I’ve been wondering: to the extent to which these generation generalizations should guide our thinking at all, is Gen Z indeed sensitive but not resilient?

It took me a couple days of gentle reflection before I realized that I wasn’t thinking clearly because I hadn’t nailed down the terms. 

First. Sensitive. What exactly do we mean when we say sensitive? Everyone is sensitive. Some people are more sensitive than others. There is a growing discussion of Highly Sensitive People, or HSPs. 

I’ve heard it said that HSPs are like a dinghy on a lake full of big motor boats. While others remain steady, the HSP is rocked by tiny ripples. 

This is akin to the orchids and dandelions analogy. Orchids are super sensitive and need lots of external support to thrive. Dandelions can thrive in various environments with little external support. Most of us, they say, are medium-sensitive tulips.**

I’m not persuaded that Gen Z is a more sensitive, orchid-heavy demographic. 

But I wonder if when people claim Gen Z is more sensitive, they actually mean more empathic. I see the Venn Diagram between sensitive and empathic. But if anything, I think Gen Z is remarkable for their empathy. Hold that thought. 

Second. What exactly do we mean by resilience? 

Merriam-Webster’s defines resilience as: 

1:  the capability of a strained body to recover after deformation caused by compressive stress

2 : an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change

The American Psychological Association defines resilience as: 

The process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands. 

A number of factors contribute to how well people adapt to adversities, predominant among them: the ways in which individuals view and engage with the world, the availability and quality of social resources, and specific coping strategies. 

So sensitivity describes how strongly we feel in response to other people and our circumstances. Resilience describes how we navigate those feelings. 

Resilience helps us, perhaps particularly the most sensitive among us, to manage stress. It’s a character trait. It’s also a learned skill. 

Resilience is a skill we learn in the face of trauma and tragedy, anxiety and adversity. It’s not about grit or toughness; it’s about bouncing back. Resilience is about adapting and growing. Ultimately it’s about empowerment. 

I don’t ordinarily do research for this humble newsletter. But I am disposed to fall down rabbit holes, and in so falling, I found a 2021 study published in the National Institutes of Health. It’s a qualitative study of undergrads striving to be resilient in the face of two major changes in their lives: college and Covid. 

There is a passage in the results section of the study about the building blocks of resilience:

The building blocks were of intrinsic and extrinsic nature. Intrinsic factors include their determination to succeed in school; whereas friends, teachers, and significant others were external resources used to build students’ resilience. This theme was illustrated in three subthemes: (1) desire and determination build resilience, (2) friends are more than merely transactional benefits; they impact resilience, (3) and resilience is a lesson from significant people.

So we don’t develop resilience alone. We count on our communities to foster our resilience. 

That seems clear. Less clear is the relationship between sensitivity and resilience. 

Is there, as some seem to intuit, an inverse relationship between sensitivity and resilience? Is it harder for more sensitive people to bounce back from trauma or tragedy? Is this the price of sensitivity? And if Gen Z is indeed more sensitive, does this explain the supposed lack of resilience?

It is concerning that in their efforts to be more resilient, people might choose to repress their emotions. To the degree to which we must choose between resilience and sensitivity, what would you choose?

False choice! I dismiss this dichotomy.

Despite not being persuaded that there is an inverse correlation between these two desirable attributes, I am still left to wonder if Gen Z is more sensitive and less resilient. 

Rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide might be indicative of a dearth of resilience in Gen Z.  

IF Gen Z is less resilient and SINCE resilience is learned in communities that foster resilience, I leave you with this:

What can you and I do to foster resilience in Gen Z?

Holler at me—in the comments or otherwise—if you have any thoughts on this matter. I am looking to grow my perspective on this one. 

Have a lovely weekend…

-DL

*I add discussions of so-called hipsters to this list of balderdash conversations. The hipster is the bogeyman. I have yet to hear a valuable discussion of hipsters. 

**If you are interested in the discussion around HSPs, I might urge you to read the work of Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Child. I am the proud, exhausted parent of one of those. The book helped me be a marginally less shitty parent.